ok..its been a while since i posted. so, bare with me a lil bit. hahah

i can't take it anymore. i don't know what to do for him...i don't know how to help. he is sooo in pain and we gave him everything that we thought could help. he is still in pain. he's gonna go into Hospice tomorrow morning at Mt Alvernia Hospital where mom works. Feeling useless right now. I can't help him at all. I did the best way I know i could. but he is still in pain. mom did her best that she could, which is freaking alot, he is still in pain.

Mom keep saying that he will not last long, so, let him do what he wants. eat what he wants, smoke as much as he wants and all we can do is make him feel comfortable. I feel that my other siblings are not doing anything to help. like, at all. it sucks.

Mom is sad, stressed, tired, sleepy, overworked and old. I want to be able to support her and dad but with my small pay, I can only do so much. My younger brother is still schooling, so can't count on him financially if needed. But mental and physical support, maybe. haha..He also another injured one.

I got a sister and 2 other brothers. My sister is a workaholic and is always not home and even when she is on her off day, she is with Holie. -.- She knows that Dad is sick but whenever she is home, she wants to get out. FUCK BITCH! please don't mind my language here. hahah..When she is home, Holie is there and both of them are cooped up in that room till it stinks. double -.-...I don't see the support that she said she is giving. Mom just close one eye about it...why?? why???

My 2 brothers...One is in Japan holidaying with his family (wife and kids) and the other is with his GF in Indonesia don't know planning what. They are actually planning on getting married. EH!! DAH BODOH KE APA LU??? PANTAT KO LAH!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!

eh, bingit kepe sey..hahah!!

Okok, my eldest brother ocmes to visit with his kids and wife. to come and see dad. say hi, hello, how are you doing, still pain? haha..laugh, smile, talk. play with his kids. thanks for giving emotional and mental support. Greatful that you came. really. :) even though he is busy with his family, he does comes by to say hi to dad and mom. thats good thing about him. :) thanks abang for the support you gave. please continue to give.

Abomar and Esah, I don't know what to think of them. It's as if they are not part of this family. It's irritating to the bloody max you know.

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babe, I miss you. I need consoling. i am sad...maybe i should talk to you tomorrow..I need someone to talk to. can i talk to you? haha...would you mind listening? I am feeling really down right now...

my dad admitted again into hospital. mt alvernia. needed to take half day leave today and a full day leave tmr so that could keep an eye on him and to update everybody who are involved and who wants to know his condition so far. as of now, he's good. just dehydrated. so, on drip for dextrose + normal saline. he's weird though. dont want to bathe at all. REFUSES to take a bath. omg. and now the room smells. like stinky smell? even my mum realises it. he doesnt cos its his own smell, i think. so, he tak perasan. haiz....dunno what to say...i think i will be sleeping soon. now is 12:24am. i think i should not sleep tonight but i not sure. hahahah! getting colder though. i think mom just reduced the temperature of the aircon. hmmm


thats are the updates on my dad's condition.

I dont like it when old birds dont have patience with the new birds. Even if they have been there for half of a year, that doesnt mean that they know everything fast and can do and get whatever that was thrown to them for the first time. everyone needs time to understand what to do and how to do it. everyone needs time to learn. and some more some people are slow at learning or catching what was thrown to them in a glance. no. one. is. perfect. all this cos they are new. but i do agree that some ASSes do take advantage of this opportunity to be stupid and slow and blur all at the same time. no. one. have that kind of patience in them. all will have limit one. we can only give leeway to those who deserve it and only for a certain period of time. i guess it sucks huh to be in either shoes.

CK is angry. he dont like chinese who are asses and suckers. he hates and despise them to the max. wow. i like him. heheh

today was soooo tiring. i even wished that the day to end early today. but waa....idiots man...

today was freaking busy. it was just freaking busy!!!!!!! AAARRRRGGHHH!!!!! AND I HATE AUNTY!!!!

I cant believe I cried yesterday. I have never felt so scared in my whole pathetic life. And last night I cried cos of work? Or is it just pms? I think Im already pms, then work pressed the release button which was kindda loose cos of my pms. Damn it. So ugly. I looked so ugly last night and both CK and Aini saw it. I think there is nothing that could help me feel better abt today.

I need u here..i cry when I know are not around me anymore. my days are always unhappy ever since u went away. I have no one anymore because u are the one person that makes me feel better and makes evrrythg else seem like a small matter and I know I can conquer it. because u always say I can, motivates me to be the best that I can. I miss u so much. I have no one to turn to. and I am feeling terrible right now. I woke up and cry...what am I gonna now..i cant go on like this. I need ur hug, touch, words..i need u. Nt the idea of u. Just u. I know im being selfish but I really need u.

My day suck big time. Its nt the work load, its the ppl. They just must ruin the day. My day is gg to be forever terrible if I dun go away or maybe fight my way thru.

Haiz...i need u here, with me. Come here and give me ur hug so that I can get better and feel better. Faster...

I feel freaking alone rite now and too bad the ppl ard me now are not helping me get better. I need u.

I've been crying from the moment I woke up..i have nothing to make me feel better. It just keeps on rolling out. And I cant stop it at all...

I used to say that im born unhappy because of how I was born and how my face is. I have a frown for a face..doesnt that mean that I was never meant to be happy nor know how happy feels like? But when I met u, I found happy. U make me happy with the way u are and how u are to me. I need u. U nvr say goodbye. U always say see u later. I want to see u later...haiz...

i miss meeting up with some some people....i want to meet them....can i? please? lol

how am i to stand this little bugger..he has the blood of his bugger dad and the blood of his persistent mom. lol. oh well...hahah!! thats my nephew.

ok..its been a while since i posted. so, bare with me a lil bit. hahah

i can't take it anymore. i don't know what to do for him...i don't know how to help. he is sooo in pain and we gave him everything that we thought could help. he is still in pain. he's gonna go into Hospice tomorrow morning at Mt Alvernia Hospital where mom works. Feeling useless right now. I can't help him at all. I did the best way I know i could. but he is still in pain. mom did her best that she could, which is freaking alot, he is still in pain.

Mom keep saying that he will not last long, so, let him do what he wants. eat what he wants, smoke as much as he wants and all we can do is make him feel comfortable. I feel that my other siblings are not doing anything to help. like, at all. it sucks.

Mom is sad, stressed, tired, sleepy, overworked and old. I want to be able to support her and dad but with my small pay, I can only do so much. My younger brother is still schooling, so can't count on him financially if needed. But mental and physical support, maybe. haha..He also another injured one.

I got a sister and 2 other brothers. My sister is a workaholic and is always not home and even when she is on her off day, she is with Holie. -.- She knows that Dad is sick but whenever she is home, she wants to get out. FUCK BITCH! please don't mind my language here. hahah..When she is home, Holie is there and both of them are cooped up in that room till it stinks. double -.-...I don't see the support that she said she is giving. Mom just close one eye about it...why?? why???

My 2 brothers...One is in Japan holidaying with his family (wife and kids) and the other is with his GF in Indonesia don't know planning what. They are actually planning on getting married. EH!! DAH BODOH KE APA LU??? PANTAT KO LAH!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!

eh, bingit kepe sey..hahah!!

Okok, my eldest brother ocmes to visit with his kids and wife. to come and see dad. say hi, hello, how are you doing, still pain? haha..laugh, smile, talk. play with his kids. thanks for giving emotional and mental support. Greatful that you came. really. :) even though he is busy with his family, he does comes by to say hi to dad and mom. thats good thing about him. :) thanks abang for the support you gave. please continue to give.

Abomar and Esah, I don't know what to think of them. It's as if they are not part of this family. It's irritating to the bloody max you know.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

babe, I miss you. I need consoling. i am sad...maybe i should talk to you tomorrow..I need someone to talk to. can i talk to you? haha...would you mind listening? I am feeling really down right now...

my dad admitted again into hospital. mt alvernia. needed to take half day leave today and a full day leave tmr so that could keep an eye on him and to update everybody who are involved and who wants to know his condition so far. as of now, he's good. just dehydrated. so, on drip for dextrose + normal saline. he's weird though. dont want to bathe at all. REFUSES to take a bath. omg. and now the room smells. like stinky smell? even my mum realises it. he doesnt cos its his own smell, i think. so, he tak perasan. haiz....dunno what to say...i think i will be sleeping soon. now is 12:24am. i think i should not sleep tonight but i not sure. hahahah! getting colder though. i think mom just reduced the temperature of the aircon. hmmm


thats are the updates on my dad's condition.

I dont like it when old birds dont have patience with the new birds. Even if they have been there for half of a year, that doesnt mean that they know everything fast and can do and get whatever that was thrown to them for the first time. everyone needs time to understand what to do and how to do it. everyone needs time to learn. and some more some people are slow at learning or catching what was thrown to them in a glance. no. one. is. perfect. all this cos they are new. but i do agree that some ASSes do take advantage of this opportunity to be stupid and slow and blur all at the same time. no. one. have that kind of patience in them. all will have limit one. we can only give leeway to those who deserve it and only for a certain period of time. i guess it sucks huh to be in either shoes.

CK is angry. he dont like chinese who are asses and suckers. he hates and despise them to the max. wow. i like him. heheh

today was soooo tiring. i even wished that the day to end early today. but waa....idiots man...

today was freaking busy. it was just freaking busy!!!!!!! AAARRRRGGHHH!!!!! AND I HATE AUNTY!!!!

I cant believe I cried yesterday. I have never felt so scared in my whole pathetic life. And last night I cried cos of work? Or is it just pms? I think Im already pms, then work pressed the release button which was kindda loose cos of my pms. Damn it. So ugly. I looked so ugly last night and both CK and Aini saw it. I think there is nothing that could help me feel better abt today.

I need u here..i cry when I know are not around me anymore. my days are always unhappy ever since u went away. I have no one anymore because u are the one person that makes me feel better and makes evrrythg else seem like a small matter and I know I can conquer it. because u always say I can, motivates me to be the best that I can. I miss u so much. I have no one to turn to. and I am feeling terrible right now. I woke up and cry...what am I gonna now..i cant go on like this. I need ur hug, touch, words..i need u. Nt the idea of u. Just u. I know im being selfish but I really need u.

My day suck big time. Its nt the work load, its the ppl. They just must ruin the day. My day is gg to be forever terrible if I dun go away or maybe fight my way thru.

Haiz...i need u here, with me. Come here and give me ur hug so that I can get better and feel better. Faster...

I feel freaking alone rite now and too bad the ppl ard me now are not helping me get better. I need u.

I've been crying from the moment I woke up..i have nothing to make me feel better. It just keeps on rolling out. And I cant stop it at all...

I used to say that im born unhappy because of how I was born and how my face is. I have a frown for a face..doesnt that mean that I was never meant to be happy nor know how happy feels like? But when I met u, I found happy. U make me happy with the way u are and how u are to me. I need u. U nvr say goodbye. U always say see u later. I want to see u later...haiz...

i miss meeting up with some some people....i want to meet them....can i? please? lol

how am i to stand this little bugger..he has the blood of his bugger dad and the blood of his persistent mom. lol. oh well...hahah!! thats my nephew.